At Times I Am Downright Maniacal

I love words. I love clichés and colloquialisms and all those little phrases that scurry around through the English language. But damn do I ever hate when someone fucks them up.

Imagine this, if you will. You are a writer. You may not be an actual published writer or anything, but it’s how you classify yourself. Maybe it isn’t but you still care about grammar and such. Now imagine someone says “James and me went to the store.” Or writes “Don’t forget you’re appointment on the eighth.” Makes you cringes a little, right? I know! Now I hate those things, too. I saw that I’d used the wrong form of “your” in an old piece and I was actually a little mad at myself! But I digress.

The problem with the colloquial phrases arises from a lack of knowledge in etymology and the issue of homonyms. People use these phrases every day, but they might not know where they come from. And they know what they sound like so they transfer them to paper incorrectly.

I know people who do this sometimes and it doesn’t make me hate them or anything. Hell, I quite like a girl who frequently uses “u” instead of “you” and has, in fact, written “your” instead of “you’re.” But perhaps I can better teach through example.

Say, for example, I am sitting with my friend and they look out the window and say “Man, it is raining cats and dogs out there.” I would look over and say “Damn! It is!” If they were talking to me online, though, and said “Man, it is rain in cats and dogs over here.” I would say “it’s raining.“

If a friend were preparing for a debate, ran it by me, and said “that’s the basis for my argument. What do you think?” I might say “sounds good to me, man.” (If it were a good argument.) If they said “that’s the bases for my argument. What do you think?” I’d say “basis.”

I am cool with using these phrases. Really! I like them too. But if you aren’t sure how to write them down… just don’t.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. My door is always a pin. You’re wishing my command.